all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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