How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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