I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
