addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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