I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so let's talk penis.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
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I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
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I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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