shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
