In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
