almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
