Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
