I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
the liver wants what the liver wants
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
