Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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