real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
if only i could text you this smell
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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