people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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