Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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