i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
