he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
