Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
