my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
