Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
