i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
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I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
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Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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