I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
