I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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