Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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