Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
