Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
sarcasm needs its own font
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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