she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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