This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
