My hand turned me down
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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