Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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