theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
