i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
