I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I did not marry a roomba.
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