She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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