that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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