STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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