So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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