im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
