I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
