I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
