Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
