Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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