"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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