weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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