Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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