erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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