I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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