my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
