I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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