she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
