im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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