Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
