the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
