i need an iv and a liver transplant
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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