put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
