Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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