I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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