I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
last night I used snow as a chaser
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