Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize