Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
