My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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