My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
