either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
