And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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