You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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