well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
