The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
