i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
