Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
