I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
