Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm just crazy horny about you
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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