I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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