Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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